Seems these days no one wants to be in Newt Gingrich’s shoes and the only ones convinced that he should be our next President are himself and a handbag of Tea Party nutwings like Hermain Cain and Sarah Palin. Gingrich isn’t a stupid man, so it begs the question why does he continue to show up at rallies and declare himself the best man for the job?
Money. It always comes down to money. While it cannot be confirmed (in any real sense of the word in a meaningful way), some sources close to the Romney camp are saying things like “Let’s just say the money is on Mitt but the real money is on Gingrich.” What?
Translation: The Koch Brothers are doing everything in their power to make their candidate, Mitt Romney look like the only option, including throwing money at the Gingrich campaign to keep Newt on the trail, spouting his ridiculous promises.
“The moon thing was my idea,” says David Koch. “I about laughed my ass off when I saw Newt up there telling America he was gonna put a colony on the moon if he was President.”
“He’s a smart man, but he’s so, so gullible,” chimed in Charles Koch. “I just love it when he tells folks how he’s responsible for keeping the Republican Party intact. That is just priceless,” said Charles. “Everyone knows it’s Koch money that is assuring the Republican Party’s success. Without us, the GOP would just be the same old boring song and dance, but when we jazzed it up with a little Tea Party dissent, it sparkled.”
Meanwhile, there are rumors in the Romney camp that Mitt is getting a bit anxious about actually becoming President. “I keep hearing rumors that being President means you actually have to roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty occasionally,” said Mitt. “Wonder if it is too late to back out and just let Gingrich have the job.”