Rick Perry Running for President So He Can Abolish the Job

Texas Governor Rick Perry announced today that the only reason he is considering a run for President in 2012 is so that, once elected, he can use his executive power to abolish the post of President.

Confused? Let me explain. Perry is a strong proponent of states’ rights. He believes that each individual state in the United States, including Texas, should be allowed to set their own laws regarding such things as education, labor laws, and civil rights. With no federal government, it would no longer be necessary to have a federal government figurehead.

In order for Perry to become President, he would have to renounce his stand on states’ rights, that is unless he becomes President just long enough to abolish the post of President all together and revert back to being the Governor of Texas.

In a recent speech, Perry’s distaste for federal government interference was palpable. “We don’t want to have to give school kids free lunches if we don’t want to,” he said. “Of course, if we want to, we will, but we won’t if we don’t want to and the federal government can’t make us.”

Perry has his lawyers checking on the constitutionality of a President abolishing the office of President of the United States, but says that regardless of their answer, he’s still gonna run for President just to scare the hell out of all his fellow Republican rivals.

Perry is also checking whether or not it would be feasible to create a new job for himself once he fires himself from the office of President of the United States and is unable to return to the post of Texas’ governor. He’s thinking President of Texas sounds pretty good.

The Game Change Exchanges No One is Talking About

A thoroughly entertaining book, The Game Change, has brought to light some “wish we hadn’t said that” moments from almost everyone associated with the 2008 Presidential campaign scene. So I just couldn’t wait to get my hands on a copy to see for myself what all the hubbub was about, especially when I heard that Harry Reid, the gosh-darn nicest, I-don’t-have-a-racial-bone-in-my-body kinda guy is credited with the now infamous line spoken when he was trying to make the case that the country was ready for a black presidential candidate…and referred to Obama as a “light-skinned African American with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one. ”

And that was just the tip of the iceberg. Why even Bill Clinton “Mr. Harlem 2002” has been credited with some off-color comments such as suggesting to Teddy Kennedy that a scant few years ago, Mr. Obama would have been getting him coffee. “I’ll take mine black, please.”

After reading between the lines, I was able to find these quotes that were somehow missed by mainstream media in their haste to get the word out on the street as quickly as possible as to just how petty, stupid, moronic, egotistic, and yes, overtly racist most people associated with our government truly are when they think no one is watching:

During a stop for a Memorial Day picnic in Waterloo, Kansas, John McCain was said to be having a rare hissy fit due to a menu change that he did not approve. According to his campaign manager, it was decided that from Memorial Day forward, there would be no eating of watermelon at any of the picnics John attended. “John loved watermelon,” his publicist is quoted as saying, “but they wouldn’t let him have any because on the off chance that his photo would have been snapped with a big slice of watermelon in his hands, it would look like he was trying to parody Obama.”

The Obama campaign was having racial issues of its own when, during the time that the media was busy snapping pictures and making up mean things to say about Sarah Palin being dressed in designer duds, one of Obama’s top advisers made this comment: “they (the media) should be less concerned with Palin wearing Valentino and more concerned about those ‘tighty-whiteys’ John McCain is obviously sporting beneath his seersucker suits,” off-handedly referring to the overt whiteness of McCain’s campaign.

In addition, a source close to Congressman Jefferson “Jeff” Beauregard Sessions III (R-Al)( I am not making this name up), states that Jeff was having a particularly hard time wrapping his head around the fact that there was a good chance that a man of color with a name like Islam had a chance of making it all the way to the White House that he let slip his thoughts to no one in particular, “I’ll tell you right now, if you think that we are going to let this go much further, then you haven’t seen what we are really like when we go into high gear. We’ll be all over the Obama campaign like ‘white on rice.’” Unfortunately, no one knows who “we” are but we (that’s me) have a pretty good idea.

And finally, there was a statement that beat them all when Sarah Palin was caught early one morning chatting with the official McCain campaign laundress: “Hi, Josephine, can I call you Josie? I just wanna know there, how do you get the whites so white and the coloreds so darned bright?