President Barack Obama Detained at Phoenix Airport

Phoenix, AZ – President Barack Obama was detained for a brief period yesterday at the Phoenix, AZ Airport by TSA officials while police determined whether or not to arrest him for not having proper identification with him at the time he touched down in their state. President Obama was in Phoenix to speak at a fundraiser for Democratic candidates willing to take on the Republicans in this year’s Senate race.

Said a police spokesperson, “We, the people of Arizona, have reason to believe that Mr. Obama may not, in fact, be a natural-born United States citizen, and until he can prove otherwise, we have no other option under the new legislation passed but to detain anyone who cannot prove their citizenship.”

Meanwhile, not even this latest episode could ruffle the feathers of this country’s most genteel leader. “While I understand why I am being detained, I cannot stress enough the enormity of the situation when one of our states takes it upon themselves to determine the legality of every citizen in our country who passes their borders. This may just be the straw that broke the camel’s back, but I will reserve my criticism for the time being. But make no mistake when I say that Wall Street will feel my wrath upon my return to Washington.”

President Obama was eventually told he could leave the state, but only after posting bail and agreeing to return for a court date sometime in the near future, hopefully with a certified copy of his Hawaiian birth certificate in hand.

Meanwhile, Wall Street traders were betting heavily that the continued furor over illegal immigration will eventually provide enough of a smoke screen so that they will be allowed to continue business as usual as President Obama is forced switch gears once again to fight for his political life over questions of his citizenship.