Brazil to Place 42-foot Mitre Atop Christ the Redeemer Statue

News of the new Christ the King statue being erected in Swiebodzin, Poland that will be the tallest Christ statue in the world has Brazilians a bit ticked off. Brazil’s Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro has been regarded as one of the two tallest and most spectacular Christ statues in the world until now (Cristo de la Concordia statue in Bolivia is a tad taller). In fact, Christ the Redeemer is listed as one of the New Seven Wonders of the World.

What to do? What to do? Brazil legislators as well as Catholic Church leaders have been meeting and have decided that the only way to save Brazil’s statue from being removed from the Seven Wonders List is to modify the Christ the Redeemer statue to make it taller than the one built in Poland. While a crown of thorns had been considered as the most acceptable form of headwear for the statue, making it 40 feet high would make it seem disproportionately large when compared to the rest of the body.

The solution is to place a 42-foot tall gold-plated Mitre (pope’s hat) atop the statue. Said one church leader “If the Polish people can place a gold crown atop the good Lord’s head, then why not a gold mitre?” In a country that is approximately 75% Catholic, it makes perfect sense.

Just as the statue itself was primarily paid for by donations from churchgoers, the legislators are asking again for help in paying for the golden Mitre which is expected to cost upwards of $R65 million reais (roughly $38 million U.S. dollars and change). Casting of the crown is expected to begin in early December.

Upon hearing of the changes Brazil is making to their statue, town leaders in Swiebodzin are said to already be planning yet other changes to the Christ the King statue by possibly adding a halo above the crown, which would effectively make the statue another 30 feet taller. Said one Polish leader, “All we can say to our Brazilian brethren is ‘bring it on.’ We are prepared to build onto our statue until it reaches all the way to the heavens if necessary to hold onto the ‘tallest Christ statue in the world’ title.”

Brazil Economists Say Brazil Loss is Victory for Brazil Economy

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil – While almost every Brazilian is saddened by the stunning loss of their team to the Netherlands in the quarter-final match, economists in Brazil are celebrating unabashedly, claiming that the loss has a decidedly silver lining.

Said one high-ranking economist “We were very worried about Brazil’s economy going into the World Cup. When Brazil’s team is playing well in the World Cup, our economy takes a nose dive. No one wants to work, everyone wants to stay in front of the television, and the entire country becomes a Sambadrome. Production in Brazil comes to a standstill,” he said.

To make matters worse, they say, if Brazil would have won the World Cup, there would be a month-long party to celebrate the victory. Economists say Brazil’s economy is not in stable enough financial condition to sustain itself while the entire country dances its way into poverty.

“It’s bad enough,” said the economists, “that Brazilians everywhere will be taking a full week off work to mourn the loss. But it’s still better than a month’s worth of down time had they won.”

Brazil Steals Oktoberfest from Germans

Blumenau, SC, Brazil – In what can only be called the biggest beer coup of the decade, the town of Blumenau, Brazil has stolen yet another world’s biggest party, this time from the Germans. When it comes to hedonism, Brazilians have the corner on the market.

In recent years, Brazilians have stolen a couple of really big parties from the Americans, such as Mardi Gras, now much more famous in it’s Carnaval incarnations, the largest of which are in Salvador, Sao Paulo and Rio; and they’ve stolen New Year’s Eve away from New York’s Time Square to stage the biggest party in the world on Copacabana Beach in Rio on December 31st. And now, they’ve stolen Oktoberfest.

Herr Herman Munschter is a longtime resident of Blumenau, Brazil and when asked if he thought it was a better party than he’s witnessed in Germany in the past, he answered “Ja, ischt gut,” as he stumbled across the street to find his polka partner, Zilda.

The statistics of just how big this annual party in Blumenau is are staggering, for instance:

***There are more attendees than there is street space to hold them, so many walk around holding their friends on their shoulders.

***Blumenau had to build a special dam to release the waters of the Itajai River during Oktoberfest because of the high volume of urination taking place from all the beer drinking. Without the dam, river levels would have become dangerously high.

***Beer is free to everyone. You don’t have to pay for any beer, none of it. (Actually, this is only partially true.) There is a bierwagen that goes through town dispensing free beer every night until it’s gone. But not to worry, there is plenty of cheap beer on sale when the free beer runs out, and to accompany that beer you’ll find some of the best wurst in the world, such as knockwurst, liverwurst and bratwurst.

***During this festival, the cities of Berlin and Munich, Germany offer special travel deals to lure their citizens back to their Oktoberfest parties, without much success.

***The German women in Brazil are much hotter.

***Even the Germans are beginning to call the Brazilian version “Oktoberbest.”

This is a non-stop, beer drinker’s dream destination. Visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QO6BKnTEatc for a taste of Oktoberfest the Brazilian way.