Minggu, 10 Oktober 2010

Florida Lemur Mistakenly Placed on Ballot as Libertarian Candidate

Florida election officials in the small town of Myakka City are scratching their heads over the apparent practical joke being played on them that now has them in a quandary as to how to remedy the situation. A lemur known as Mister E. Mann is listed on the local ballot as the Libertarian candidate running for City Commissioner.


Myakka City is home to an actual lemur sanctuary, and Mister E. Mann has been a resident there since his birth. “Someone is having a little fun,” claims local elections official Blenda Parks, “and we’re sure we can get this straightened out before Election Day, but if we can’t, we may have to let the voters decide if they want some of their important decisions made by a lemur.” Parks claims that had the error been caught as it was being made, there’d be no problem, but since no one checked twice, the name got on there and it’s twice as hard removing a candidate’s name as it is to submit it.

“Whoever done it, had no problem coming up with the $2,000 fee to register Mister E. Mann as a Libertarian candidate,” said Parks. “Why anyone would want to do it is beyond me, but if you knew our quirky little group of townsfolk, you’d understand.”

Most people believe the culprit is none other than a guy who goes by the name of “Gator” who is a known practical joker. “First and foremost, he’s always trying to pull something on someone,” said “Otter,” another long-time resident of Myakka City. “He may be a practical joker, but he is dead serious about his politics and being a Republican, he’s gonna pull out all the stops to see that the Libertarian party is stopped before they get any candidates elected.”

When Otter was asked if he thinks Gator’s plan might backfire and end up allowing a Democrat to sit on the City Commission, Otter said “oh hell no, there ain’t but one Democrat in this entire city and believe me, even he knows better than to vote straight ticket.”

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