Adam Lambert Spelled Backwards is Difficult to Pronounce

Most people have not taken the time to wonder what would happen if you spelled Adam Lambert’s name backwards. Mostly because it doesn’t really spell anything. Trebmal Mada may be a word in a foreign language. It could translate to ‘working giant jungle cat.’ We simply do not know.

One thing is certain, playing Adam Lambert songs backwards are also not likely to produce any particularly sage advice. Not that we’ve tried, but from past experience with Beatles’ music, it pretty much is a hodge-podge of words strung together that sound foreign to our ears and which is not helpful in the least.

What we can agree on is this. The connection of writing Adam Lambert backwards as well as doing the same to his music has a distinct correlation when it comes to trying to decipher exactly what it is the Tea Party wants out of the debt ceiling talks.

If we could find a way of winding the thoughts of some of those newly-elected Senators frontwards, we might have a clue as to just what it is they want to accomplish in Washington.

Apologies for ruining a perfectly good article about Adam Lambert with talk of the Tea Party. This may open up a whole new can of worms, but for anyone interested, if you scramble the letters contained in the words Tea Party, you come up with “Tater Pay.” Guess that’s something we can all start to look forward to, except, of course, the country’s unemployed.

Lloyd's of London Insures Adam Lambert's Crotch for $1 Million

Los Angeles, CA – Lloyd’s of London (Lloyd’s), perhaps best known for its unusual insurance policies on various body parts of the rich and famous, including Tina Turner’s legs, Celine Dion’s vocal chords, and burlesque stripper, Tempest Storm’s breasts, has just announced that it has contracted with singer Adam Lambert to insure Lambert’s crotch for $1 Million Dollars.

A spokesperson for Lloyd’s would not discuss the specifics of the policy other than to state that this policy will help to ensure the safety of Lambert’s privates while he is forced to simulate sex acts on stage.

Asked why he decided to take out this insurance policy, Lambert stated that he and his handlers realized the very real risk of Lambert overshooting his thrust into another dancer’s face, and thereby causing permanent bruising to his member. In addition, they have been advised by Lambert’s doctors that excessive thrusting can eventually lead to penile arthritis, a very painful permanent condition.

Trying not to get too personal, Lambert was asked what precautions, if any, he is taking to assure that his crotch will have a long and successful career in show business. A smiling Lambert responded, “You bet I’m protecting this asset,” he said while grabbing his crotch. “This fella is getting me way more recognition than my voice ever did. I will be having special cups designed to match my outfits. I can’t give out too much information, but suffice it to say, there will be spikes and studs galore.”

A spokesperson from Lloyd’s added, those special cups, together with this insurance policy, will give Adam the peace of mind he needs to just go out on stage and give it his all, no more holding back like at the American Music Awards Show.”

When asked why he wasn’t insuring his lips also, as they will be used as well in the simulated sex acts, Lambert replied, “Actually, we did insure my lips and my tongue, but for a lot less money. I think each one is only insured for the minimum star coverage of $100,000 each. I’ll be using the crotch a lot more than the mouth, so it was decided that at this point in time, there was no reason to over-insure those parts.” He added, laughing, “don’t want to end up insurance poor, you know.”