Marijuana Candles Give New Meaning to the Term Melting Pot

A new product is hitting store shelves in the states where medical marijuana is legal. “Melting Pot” candles. The candles are made from a mixture of beeswax and potent medical marijuana and are the brainchild of Potpend Home Products, manufacturer of various pot products for the home.

These unique candles have been approved for use by the FDA, DEA, FDIC and NATO. Said company spokesperson, Patrick Pending, “we realized when medical marijuana became legal in many states, there would be some people who would not be able to take it the traditional way, i.e. by smoking a pipe or a marijuana cigarette, so we decided to do something about it.

Our candles are produced in such a way as to incorporate just the right amount of marijuana within the beeswax allowing for a consistent dispersal of medicament in a small area. This, along with the patented wider wick, allows the patient(s) to gather around it and gain the full benefits just by normally breathing in the smoke.”

Mr. Pending claims that he and his colleagues have spent many, many man hours testing the candles and can attest to their potency and effectiveness. “Not only do the candles help to alleviate the symptoms of so many medical maladies, but they also lend a calming ambiance to any room,” said Pending.

Melting Pot candles will be sold alongside traditional medical marijuana in marijuana dispensaries, and the company hopes someday soon to be able to sell them at local Wal-Mart and Target stores. In addition, the group is hoping to produce smaller taper-type rainbow drip candles like the ones made popular in the 60’s. “After all,” said Pending, “sometimes it takes more than just a medicated candle to make someone feel good.”

Candle Shortage Next Big Crisis on Horizon

People all over the world are becoming increasingly worried about an imminent energy crisis. As a result, they are buying candles by the billions. Candle stores from Albuquerque to Zurich are selling out faster than they can make them. Wholesale distributors are complaining about having backlogs of several months or more on shipments. Even ornamental and decorative candles are being snapped off the shelves in a buyers’ frenzy as the threat of worldwide power outages becomes more of a reality.

While the crisis in Japan is taking precedence over anything we’ve seen before, the candle shortage is a very real spin-off crisis and not expected to get any better in the months to come.

Jasmine Hollowax has been making sand candles since the early ‘60’s in the Haight-Ashbury District of San Francisco and she claims that not only is she finding it hard to find wax but her supplies of sand are also in decline. “The sand candle is about the easiest candle to make,” said Jasmine, “but without wax and sand, it becomes a candle maker’s nightmare.”

The inexplicable decimation of bees in the United States has also contributed to the decline in beeswax, a preferred wax for many candle makers. Dumont Hiasakite, a candle maker who refuses to use inferior materials for his candles, says that if the situation doesn’t get better by June, he is going to have to close the Candle Emporium shop he’s owned in Boston for four decades.

“It’s ironic,” says Hiasakite. “Most businesses fold because they become obsolete and there just isn’t a demand for the product anymore. In our case, it is the opposite. With the energy crisis worldwide, it is just a matter of time before candles will be the only source of immediate power people will be able to find to provide light and help keep their food warm.

“Hoarders know this and are buying candles faster than gold. Especially the big, giant candles you thought you’d never have a reason to own before,” he said.

In a related story, Glenn Beck has replaced the advertising on his Fox News show to accommodate the increased demand for candles. He is no longer touting gold as the most lucrative investment these days but instead is telling his viewers to buy candles, with this message. “Gold is pretty and it used to be a solid investment, but folks, gold won’t light your way in the darkness or heat a can of chili on the coldest of nights. Buy candles now before they’re all gone.”

As a result, wax commodity prices have skyrocketed with an ounce of wax going for more than $1,000.