Ten Things You Might Hear at the Apocalypse

1. Man, I didn’t see that coming.

2. Wow, where’d you learn to ride a horse like that?

3. There goes the wheat crop.

4. President Cheney announced today that China…

5. I never figured God could get this mad.

6. Man, it’s hotter than hell out here today, ain’t it?

7. Well, doc, the headaches started about the same time I began the teeth gnashing.

8. Met this girl at the bar last night and invited her up for a nightcap. One minute we’re talking about rapture and the next minute she’s gone.

9. Does anyone know what seal we’re up to now? Is it six, seven?

10. She was a semi-successful writer until she decided to write that satirical piece about the end of the world.