Sabtu, 02 Juli 2011

One Millionth Elvis Impersonator Honored in Las Vegas

Las Vegas, NV– This week marked a milestone in Las Vegas as one lucky lad had the great fortune of becoming the one millionth person to get his own show in Vegas as an Elvis impersonator. Gruud MacPhereson, or Mac as he’s known--an out-of-work whiskey kegger from Glasgow--couldn’t believe it when told the news by the owner of the Grand Golden Jackpot Hotel, Casino and All-You-Can-Eat IncrediBuffet.

“Actually,” said MacPhereson, “I wasn’t pure lookin' tae bide in Vegas mair than a coople ay days, when a bodie spotted me blooter'd oan th' stage in th' middle ay th' nicht singin' mah rendition ay hoonddog an' said ah was a deid ringer fur Elvis. Noo I’m daein' mah ain shaw an' everythin'. It’s a dream cam trew.”

[Translation: Ackshelly, I waddna rally lookin’ ta stay in Vegas more en a coopla days, when someone spotted me drunk onna stage in th’ middle a th’ neit singin’ ma rendition of Hoondog en said eye was a dead ringer fer Elvis. Now I’m in ma own show an evre’thing. It’s a dream cam trew.]

Sponsors of the “Never Too Many Elvis Impersonators” contest claim that MacPhereson is about the closest thing to Elvis they’ve seen so far, and also one of the most entertaining, both sober and drunk. The only thing that sets him apart is his red hair. MacPhereson is standing firm on that.

“Eye ain’t gonna dye ma hair black fer no one,” said Mac.

MacPhereson really stands out, nevertheless in his white, rhinestone-studded sleeveless t-shirt and plaid kilt. Also, he is the only Elvis Impersonator who is accompanied by a bagpipe.

“You’ll not hear a more stirrin’ rendition of ‘Love Me Tender’ than when Mac sings it with the bagpipe in the background,” said one of MacPhereson’s loyal fans.

Most people are under the impression that Elvis impersonators are from the United States, particularly southern states such as Tennessee, Georgia, and Alabama, but in reality, about a third of the now million impersonators come from foreign countries.

“We once had a fellow from Turkey whose stage name was Ahmed Pressley. What a hoot. You couldn’t understand a word he said, but when he started singing like Elvis, man you could close your eyes and think the king was right there on stage. Ahmed always closed his shows with ‘Tank you veddy much, my friend.’ He was one of our all-time favorites and a very polite person as well,” said Eddie Spiggetti, General Manager of the Grand Golden.

MacPhereson hasn’t said how long he plans on staying in Vegas now that he’s won the award, but his friends say he’s not in that much of a hurry to get back to Scotland. Ironically, his wife left him because she couldn’t take another Elvis song.

Her loss, Vegas’ gain.

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