Jumat, 09 September 2011

Celebrities Pledge to Help America by Creating A Million Entourage Jobs

A man by the name of Sid Weinstock is heading up a group of some of the biggest names in the country who are each pledging to hire several new entourage members in an effort to create upwards of one million new jobs in America. Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs alone has signed up to add at least 20 new members to his entourage.

“We’ve got people right now scouring the unemployment lists to find folks we think will be a good fit for some of the highest paid artists in the world,” said Weinstock, who has created a company called Kiss Ups International. “From Beyonce to Streisand, New York to LA, we are coming to a city near you to find out what skills you have to make our biggest stars extremely comfortable in their hectic lives.”

“We want to see President Obama’s job bill succeed.” says Winstock, “But let’s face it. Most of our major factories have closed and the jobs shipped overseas, our kids are coming out of school without the educational tools necessary to hold down high-paying jobs, and the change in climate makes it hard on those who have to take outdoor jobs. Our entourage jobs are filling a much needed gap while giving those who deserve it [the stars] some much needed extra help.”

Weinstock says that no special skills are necessary, but all applicants must possess a willingness to be there 24/7 for the stars. Whether it’s taking care of a star’s bratty kids, making a late-night milkshake at 2 a.m. for a hungover starlet like Lindsay Lohan, or getting caught in a barrage of gunfire (in the case of gangsta rap stars), we need folks who are there ready to serve,” said Weinstock.

“It’s not as glamorous a job as you would think,” cautioned Weinstock, “but it’s a job and one that pays a fairly decent wage when you consider perks such as riding in limos, private jets and luxury buses, as well as being offered leftovers from some of the finest restaurants in the world.”

Weinstock claims that when all is said and done, entertainers from Hollywood to New York will be the real heroes of this latest economic disaster because they will have had the foresight and the means to take advantage of large pool of low paid workers willing to put up with just about anything to earn a paycheck. Just ask Kate Gosselin’s nanny(ies).

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