Minggu, 04 September 2011

Red Rover Game of Choice for Tea Party Republicans

Seriously, a Jobs Bill? That's the best you got?

“Red Rover. Red Rover, send a budget plan right over,” yelled Senator Rand Paul (R-Kentucky) while linking his arms together tightly with his fellow Republican lawmakers to assure that any legislation, good or bad, wouldn’t make it through their barrier.

Washington insiders are saying that with the newly-elected freshman Tea Party legislators comes a whole new game plan.

“Before we were elected,” says Sen. Paul, “the House and Senate were playing one of the oldest games in the book--Chicken. Problem was, with the elections right around the corner, neither side was willing to ‘get run off the road’ for their beliefs.”

Paul claims that the game Chicken, if played right, can be a highly effective tool for producing the changes he feels are needed in Washington. But Paul contends that the “wussy factor” is much higher when politicians play Chicken, especially during an election year.

Now that he and other younger, more determined Republicans have just entered the scene and aren’t facing the threat of losing their jobs anytime soon, Paul says they needed a game that would show the American public just how far they were willing to go in order to get their way in Washington.

“We’re all pretty much willing to up the ante and play a much more serious game,” said Paul, “and out of all the games out there, Red Rover just really clicks with us.”

Paul claims Red Rover was one of his favorite games to play as a young boy growing up in Texas, and he couldn’t be happier that the game has found its way into his adult life.

“There are so many ways you can play Red Rover,” said Paul, who believes the game offers more strategic options than Chicken.

Senator Marco Rubio (R-Florida) agreed wholeheartedly with his teammate.

Rubio claims that he and his colleagues are adamant about standing strong against any legislation that promotes a socialist agenda, but insists at the same time, there are a few instances where it may be necessary to allow one or two small bills through.

“While we’ve all taken a vow to prevent the passing of any legislation that would remotely make President Obama look like an effective leader,” says Rubio, “we also want to pass laws that are going to benefit us as a group, and the game of Red Rover allows us to do that much more effectively than Chicken without anyone calling us a bunch of wussies.”

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