Rick Perry Invites Jewish Business Leaders to His Home for Real Texas BBQ

Here is yet another reason why politicians who only have state governing experience should tread lightly when it comes to espousing views on how they would handle foreign policy. Case in point, Rick Perry today met with Jewish business leaders in New York.

After taking a few public swings at President Obama on his (Obama’s) policy on Israel, Perry then sat down for lunch at a local Jewish deli and had a more intimate conversation with several business leaders. Unfortunately, it went downhill from there.

Perry ordered a Pastrami on Rye with mustard and raved about the taste. “I swear to God, that is who you folks pray to right? I swear to God, you folks make a mean pork roast, but I gotta tell ya, the pork ribs coming off some of my friends’ Texas barbecue grills are to die for.” Perry then invited the men to Texas for some real barbeque.

Perry’s aide rushed to his side and whispered something in Perry’s ear, at which time Perry appeared quite apologetic. “Geez, I’m sorry folks. I thought it was people in India who don’t eat pork. My mistake. How about y’all come out to Texas for some of the best barbecued beef brisket you ever ate? I’m pretty sure we use kosher salt in our marinade.”

John Boehner Submits Doodle Pages as Serious Debt Plan

Several sources in Washington who have been following the debt ceiling talks closely have indicated that a lack of golf has turned John Boehner into a bit of a monster. Tired of hearing the President intimate that his party is doing nothing to get the matter resolved, Boehner stood his ground and offered up one last debt plan which he believes the President will accept.

“It is my doodle pad,” said Boehner. Every idea I’ve come up with in the past couple of weeks is within those pages. I say if President Obama wants us to get serious about reducing debt and moving forward on a balanced budget, he’ll find everything he needs right there.”

“Of course,” Boehner continued, “I’d hope that he overlooks the caricatures I’ve drawn of him, and the anagrams I’ve made out of his name, such as 'Baa Crab Amok,' 'A Baa Bra Mock,' and my personal favorite 'Maraca Kabob.'”